The Surprisingly Simple Way To Build An Elopement Guest List

You’re on board with the idea of an intimate guest list.  You want to get married surrounded by the people who support you, love you, and make you feel seen.  

But now – you still have to actually make the list.  😰

Fortunately, there is an easy way how to make a guest list for a wedding that helps take the angst out of deciding who should be there on your day.  In fact, you’ve probably already answered that question, and you didn’t even realize you were doing it!

Here’s the surprisingly simple, honest way to build your elopement guest list:

Sit down with your partner, each of you with your own piece of paper.  

(Or you answer for yourself now, and text the questions to them later.)

1) You have 30 seconds to answer this question:  The moment you were engaged, who did you want to call first?  Gut reactions only, write down the names.

2) Next, who did you want to call within the first 10 minutes?  Meaning, the second and third round of calls, after that inner circle was notified.

3) And lastly, within the first 24 hours, who else did you want to notify that this amazing thing had happened?

Note: You can still do this exercise if you didn’t have a formal engagement:  Imagine that you and your spouse got married alone together, right now, today!  When you were done, who would be the first people you’d call?  And who would you call next, within that next 10 minutes?  And finally, who would be the round you’d call within 24 hours?

Now come together and compare lists.  

In what ways are they the same?  

How are they different?  

How many people do you count?  Are there big differences between the lists?

Which calls were full of genuine excitement?  Were any of these calls made out of a sense of obligation?  Were any of these calls ones you’d be ok if someone else had made on your behalf?  

For the smallest adventure elopements, consider inviting only those on that first joyous round of calls.  Or first and second.  It’s entirely up to you, of course.

But I’m guessing your gut already told you who supports you.  Who shares the excitement, who cheers you on, and who upholds your love.

(Your gut is so smart.🤗)  

Who is on your list may surprise you – it may also feel just right.  I challenge you to try this out with your partner–it will be some of the most fruitful minutes you can spend together on wedding planning prep, I promise!

If it helps, print a PDF of the questions here, pin the image below to your Pinterest board, or, screenshot it for reference while you write. (Also, sharing the love! Send this link or image on if you know someone that’s figuring out how to make a guest list for a wedding!)

Remember:  You’re building an authentically you wedding experience from scratch.  No one needs to be at your wedding but you.  Everything and everyone else can support how you want to feel.